Unwelcome thoughts and memories tumble around my tired mind,
bumping and clanging until the noise makes it impossible to know anything,
any damn thing at all.
Can’t think, can’t pray, can’t be sure of anything.
Just trying to find the silence.
My voice won’t come back to me.
I can’t find my words.
They have escaped me.
My skin, slightly unfamiliar.
My eyes, tired and fighting to shine.
My mouth, heavy…almost too heavy to lift into a smile.
I stare at myself in the glass and wonder where the hell I went.
Can’t think, can’t pray, can’t be sure of anything.
Just trying to find the silence.
Just need the silence for a little while…just a little while.
Darkness comes and rescues me,
bringing the silence.
No one needs me in the dark,
not anymore.
Silence wraps around me,
soothing my eyes closed,
allowing my mouth to rest in the numbness.
Don’t need to think,
don’t need to pray,
don’t need to be sure.
Just need to sleep and dream,
Just need to go into the night and hear my voice again…
and try to remember where the hell I went.
Anna Figueroa
Midnight Thoughts 